I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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