bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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