D3 body, D1 cock
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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