Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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