even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize