She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
