Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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