If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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