do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
