I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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