Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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