i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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