you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
