Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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