It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
