she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
