I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
