put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
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Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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