He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
