So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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