Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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