At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
