so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
