capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
