Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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