I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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