Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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