All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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