Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
