is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
