So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm always down for nudity.
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