I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
