I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
