Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
