i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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