I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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