I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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