Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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