I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
