I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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