Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
