Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
