Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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