I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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