This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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