i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
