You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
