i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
