I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
