Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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