I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
