I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
