shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Mom said you looked used
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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