I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
