check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
