Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just cut my nipple shaving
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
