You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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