So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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